Why
we walk: Only Love In Your Lifetime
The
birth of a new baby brings joy and happiness to all -- but what happens when your
world is torn apart when your baby dies? When you leave the hospital with a
heart full of emotions and arms full of nothing but a memory box?
We
met two years ago at South Shore Hospital’s Pregnancy and Infant loss support
group and immediately bonded over the losses we all endured. Having the
support from others who were walking the same path was a saving grace.
We
will be walking this year as a team for many reasons. We will walk to honor our
babies and to keep their memories alive. We will walk to raise awareness about
pregnancy and infant loss and break the taboo associated with it. We will walk
for the miracle babies that get to grow on earth instead of in heaven. We will
walk to bring hope and support. We will walk to bring healing and peace.
Why
I walk: Emily
I
walk for every baby that has left this world far too soon including my
daughter. Eva was born in June of 2012 at 26 weeks due to a placental
abruption. She weighed a tiny 1 pound 11 ½ ounces and was 16 inches long.
She was referred to as the miracle during my 6 week hospital stay. She
should have been gone when my water broke at 20 weeks, yet somehow she kept
growing and thriving. We had so much hope for her. Yes, she would
be extremely premature but with all the advances of science I thought surely
she would survive. Shortly after she was born, her heart stopped beating.
My baby was resuscitated right in front of my eyes and rushed to the NICU.
Even through the shock and confusion of it all I knew one thing- she was
beautiful. Seeing her open her eyes and feeling her grip my finger melted
my heart. When her health quickly started declining overnight we had to
make the gut wrenching decision to remove her from life support. I got to hold
my baby as her heart stopped beating. As her soul moved from this life to the
next, and for that I feel extremely blessed. Even two years later, the
pain feels just as raw, yet has been coated in a protective layer for my
survival and sanity. This year I am honored to walk with some of the strongest
people I know as the “Only Love In Your Lifetime" team.
Why
I walk: Shawna
At 12 weeks of pregnancy we
found out my son had a birth defect called gastroschisis. This is a birth
defect where the abdominal cavity doesn't fully close and the intestines grow
outside the body. Although serious, this birth defect has a 90% survival
rate. At 18 weeks we found out he was a boy and immediately knew he was
going to be called Elliot. A name I think was meant for him. We were closely
monitored between Brigham and Women's and Boston Children's Hospital.
Just before 32 weeks I went into labor and had an emergency c-section.
His last ultrasound showed he was just over 2 lbs. Elliot Padric
Bruce was born on June 3rd 2012 weighing 4 pounds and was 19.5 inches. He
had his closure surgery that night and was recovering very smoothly. Elliot was
off all breathing support and pooping within his first few days of life.
He was the rockstar of the NICU and our family and all his nurses were in awe
of his soulful big blue eyes, big hands and feet and his strong personality.
He loved his binky and to be held. He made tons of silly faces and
little squeaky noises. We were so amazed by his strength and loved watching
him progress. He looked so different every day and we thought we were
going to be out of the NICU in no time. Elliot was showing signs of being
sick on the day before he passed but kept all his vital signs normal. The day
Elliot passed was very unexpected and traumatic. June 13th, 2012 will
forever be the worst day of my life and the images of him leaving us are
scarred into me. Through an autopsy we found out he had e coli in his blood
and urine.
Although Elliot is
gone he certainly is not forgotten. He continues to make an impact on the world
and makes his mom proud every single day. With the help of friends I have
met through support groups, I have gained the strength to help others like they
have helped me. I want to make Elliot as proud of me as I am of him. This
year I am walking for Elliot, Eva, Colton and all babies gone too soon.
Why We walk: Rebecca & Brian
We found out in August of 2011
that we were expecting our second baby. We were over the moon with
excitement! At around 18 weeks we found out we were having another boy!
We decided to name him Colton. My pregnancy with Colton was
perfect, his heartbeat was always where it was supposed to be and I felt even
better than I did with my first pregnancy. We had an appointment at 26
weeks on January 10, 2012 and everything looked great. We had no idea
that would be the last time we heard Colton's heartbeat. The evening of
January 13, 2012, I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt
him move. I wasn't positive so I didn't think much of it. The next
morning I still hadn't felt him move but thought I would try all the tricks
before calling the doctor. Nothing worked but I convinced myself I just
hadn't paid enough attention and if I didn't feel him the next morning I would
call. When the morning came, and I still hadn't felt him, I called and
went straight to the hospital. I STILL thought I was just crazy so we didn't
call anyone, and even brought our 16 month old son with us. When we got
to the hospital, the nurse started searching for his heartbeat. I
remember she had picked up mine and it had been so fast that my husband and I
thought it was him. She searched and searched but nothing. She
asked why I had waited so long to come in, I still don't really know. The
doctor came in next with a portable ultrasound machine. He searched and
told me that there was no heartbeat and my baby had died. I felt like I
was dying. I wanted to die. They then sent me for another
ultrasound just to confirm and of course nothing changed. We learned that
we would deliver Colton, stillborn. Going through labor, knowing that
instead of a healthy breathing baby, you will give birth to death, is a feeling
that is not possible to describe. There just aren't words for the deepest
of heartaches. Colton arrived, after two days of labor, on January 17,
2012. He weighed 2lbs 14oz and was 16.5 inches long. We spent the
day saying hello, and goodbye. We gave him lots of cuddles and kisses.
We told him how loved and wanted he was. We are so grateful for the
nurses at South Shore Hospital who took all of his pictures that we will
cherish forever and helping us to create a lifetime of memories with him.
Colton has changed our lives forever and has blessed us in more ways than we could count. We are so grateful that we were chosen to be his parents. We will always wonder who he would have been, but we know that his little life has made a big difference to those who love him and we are so proud.
Colton has changed our lives forever and has blessed us in more ways than we could count. We are so grateful that we were chosen to be his parents. We will always wonder who he would have been, but we know that his little life has made a big difference to those who love him and we are so proud.
We are eternally
grateful for the parents we have met through our beautiful babies. They
have been our light and support through the darkest days of our lives.
My husband and I are walking this year to remember and honor all babies that were taken too soon and to make a difference to parents who are missing their precious babies.
My husband and I are walking this year to remember and honor all babies that were taken too soon and to make a difference to parents who are missing their precious babies.
