With Love for Kate

This year, I formed a loss group with seven amazing women who have all joined the March of Dimes because of experiencing the tragedy and heartbreak of losing their baby, something no parent should ever have to go through. We formed this group so that they could make outreach to new family teams who have also experienced this loss and to create an area at our walks where families can go to remember a beloved baby who is no longer with them. I am grateful to know these women and am reminded each time I work with them of the resiliency and strength of a mother. Thank you to Molly Baab, Michelle Wood, Jodi Rooney, Stephanie Scalese, Stephanie Crawford, Kristy Haskins and Beth Reilly. 

Here is Beth's daughter's story:

Kate Anne Reilly

December 21, 2010- January 7, 2011 

 

My husband, son, and I welcomed Kate into our world in December of 2010.  She was born 4 days before Christmas, but more importantly, 4 months before her due date.  Kate weighed 1 pound and 7 ounces.  But despite all odds, she was alive and her heartbeat was strong- and she was being cared for by the doctors and nurses of the St. Francis NICU in Hartford, CT.  We came to find out that she couldn’t have been in a better, more extraordinary place.

Overall, Kate was doing really well.  She had all the normal issues that come with a baby so underdeveloped.  Every day there was something new to worry about- but also a little victory to celebrate, too.  It was amazing to me that she was so tiny- but so unbelievably perfect…right down to her beautiful long eyelashes and her itty bitty toenails.  Everyone commented on her long, graceful limbs, and we all were amazed by her fighting spirit.  Her grip was strong and she refused to lay still.  Her nurses called her a Diva, a Pip, and Tiny but Mighty.  And boy was she loved.  We were, too…those doctors and nurses took such good care of all of us.  And as scary as it was being in that NICU, I also remember just feeling so proud to be there- to be the mom of Kate, that miracle of a little girl.

We knew that Kate’s odds were getting better every single day, but we were also warned that anything could happen.  And it did.  The phone call came early one Friday morning when Kate had been alive for 2 ½ weeks.  By the time we got to the hospital, a whole team of doctors and nurses were struggling to keep her alive so that we could have one last moment with her.  We held her tiny hands, told her how much we loved her, and that it was okay to go.  She did.  We spent a few hours with Kate after she died.  That’s when we got to hold her for the very first time.  I can still feel the weight of her and the silkiness of her hair.  I’m scared someday I will forget it.

While the deep disappointment over the loss of Kate will never go away, I am incredibly grateful for the miracle of her life and all the ways it has blessed my own.  I am glad to be living in this world that is filled with kind, compassionate people- people we have known for years and others who have come into our lives because of Kate.  These people are the reason we are okay.  Because of their love and support, we have been able to accept what has happened, to be thankful for our lives as they are now, and to be able to make the choice to move forward to make Kate’s life- our family’s life- a meaningful one.  I hope Kate looks down on us and likes what she sees.  But more than anything, I hope she doesn’t know that she should have been here with us.  We love you, Kate!

 

The Reilly Family